For a few years I, like many of my generation and the generation before me, have become increasingly alarmed by this latest batch of young whipper snappers that have hit the employment market in the last four to six years. For a number of reasons, they’ve been given many monikers, (Generation Y, the Millennials, Generation Me). Common characteristics include: overall laziness, lack of reliability, an entitled view on life, the desire for instant gratification, lack of initiative and problem solving skills, and an uncanny ability to live in that “gray zone” of ambiguous loopholes and frequent malicious obedience. Sure, there are exceptions to every rule. But these exceptions have had the benefit, yes benefit, of hardship and sacrifice.
For the past 20 years, life in the West has been “hardship free”. Everything has been at this generation’s fingertips, and what is not can be purchased for them (well, that’s what they expect anyway). Our kids brains have become obese, their minds mired in sloth. This has become the veal calf generation. So mentally soft and delicate that when economic times were booming you didn’t dare utter a negative critique of their performance or else risk of them taking their ball to go play for another team (oh, don’t get me started about loyalty). Among the dozens of examples of this “how dare you” mentality, in one instance, I actually got chastised by an employee for trying to instill some independent thought and reason. Instead of just giving her the answer to her ridiculously stupid question (yes, there really are stupid questions that, instead of answering, deserve to be mocked), I suggested that she take 30 minutes to research the answer to her question for herself and report back to me what she learned. Well, this went over like a fart in church and let’s just say that I heard an earful at the next staff review. Each day I have been faced with this complete lack of self reliance and each day I must feed the baby birds. Hmmm, maybe I’ll set up a feature called “Tales of the Tards” to weekly showcase a new storied example of my unending torment. I swear that there is a permanent wet spot in the corner of my office due to daily weeping as I am reduced to a curled up mass, rocking myself back and forth sucking on my thumb. Let’s face it, our children’s hands have been idle for a generation, and you know what that means. Shit, I just realized that I’ve been referring to these adults as “children”.
But I am not a pessimist! No, despite my incoherent ramblings and fist shaking, I have hope. Not Obamahope, I’m talking about real hope. The kind of hope bred from good ol’ fashioned soupline standing, shoe soul eating, wooden barrel (with straps) wearing, brother can you spare a dime, economic hardship. I believe that humanity, no matter what the generation, will always rise and stare down hardship. As 2009 takes shape, we are faced with a world and life that has real and profound limitations. In all adversity there is a chance for a better day. In all constraints, there is opportunity for growth. This is a chance for the veal calf generation to redefine itself, instead of others defining it by their own terms. This is their day to stand out and to put to good use the massive resources made available by previous generations. This is their opportunity to seize on the opportunity presented by the retirement of the baby-boomer generation. Us Gen X’ers can’t do it alone. We need these diaper wearers. Maybe now we can stop wiping their tooshies.
And what if this generation squanders its opportunity…fumbles the ball…becomes a lost generation? Well, behind this generation is the next. A generation raised in difficult economic times. A generation that saw its parents struggle to make ends meet and value the few thing they do have: namely each other. A generation that understands the value of hard work and appreciates the sacrifice required in life. A generation we can count on when we most need them. Maybe this “next greatest generation” is our hope, and Generation Y should just get out of the way.
Epilogue: As I proof this, I realize a critical flaw in my logic…can you imagine the pressure placed on all of us if Generation Y does not “grow” out of its artificial adolescence? The level of government programs and spending to keep afloat an economy and population that cannot support itself? The answer is clear…cannibalism. We need to eat The Soylent Generation.
