60 Miles Ain't Scary Until You're Staring it in the Face

Maps are cool.

Our “Dear Leader” finds himself wrastlin’ (I always loved that word, “wrastlin’”) with a Pakistani government abdicating control of significant areas of its country to within 60 miles of the nation’s capital. Thankfully, I’m hearing from my fellow “extremists” and newly minted “enemies of the state” a growing sense of alarm that we are just a 45 minute Talibani comute from witnessing a limited or full scale nuclear exchange in southern Asia (don’t think for a minute that India is going to allow Taliban control of Pakistani nukes). But from most I talk with (often at Hot Topic and Wet Seal) those precious few 60 miles might as well be 60,000 miles.

Often we fail to truly grasp the significance of a situation until it is staring at us square in the face. Events , like time and space, must be brought into the context of our lives for us to appreciate the moment we live in (appreciation is not always a good thing). They must be personalized. For instance, there was a time, when I could give a rat’s ass about the Soviet Union and its quest for a world-wide revolution. Russia was on the other side of the world for crying out loud. Then I saw Red Dawn. Holy shit! The Ruskies can invade Colorado? [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2LG-ASco6o]that's awesome

OK, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, when I was looking at that map above I found myself asking, "But what does that really look like?" In order for me to truly appreciate the magnitude of the problem, I needed to visualize the problem in my own backyard. In other words, I needed to put that map into some "Red Dawn" context, to bring it down to my scale. The question is, what does it look like in your backyard? A picture is worth a thousand words. I friggin' make maps on my one day off? Jesus, what's become of me?OK, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, when I was looking at that map above I found myself asking, "But what does that really look like?" In order for me to truly appreciate the magnitude of the problem, I needed to visualize the problem in my own backyard. In other words, I needed to put that map into some "Red Dawn" context, to bring it down to my scale. The question is, what does it look like in your backyard? A picture is worth a thousand words. I friggin' make maps on my one day off? Jesus, what's become of me?

New York - You tawkin' to me? Infidel!

Atlanta - Anyone want to see Paula Dean in a burka? Infidel!

Sacramento - San Francisco in Taliban country? What a surprise. Infidel!

Seattle - Would you like some jihad with your latte? Infidel!

Chicago - Heard any Obama/Muslim jokes lately? Infidel!

Austin - Everything's bigger in Texas...including the jihad. Infidel

It's Groundhog Day!

And it's the same thing every day...after day after day after day after day. I have to remind myself that it's "up the river, not across the stream" when I hear people expect our politicians to "change" the institutional corruption and ineptitude of politics simply because we all believe that "Yes, we can". Even as the new President pours sweet honey in our ears, he and the rest of the federal government continue a tradition of disappointment.

• Promising change, President Obama nominates a cabinet dominated by former Clinton cabinet members and federal politicians.
  
• Our Vice President brow beats me by saying it's my patriotic duty to pay more taxes while he donates to charity the same amount of money as I do even though he made 20 times my salary in 2008!
  
• The man who now controls the IRS is a tax cheat.
• The nominee for HHS, who has for years as a senator fought for higher taxes is also a tax cheat (although, he does have cute Harry Potter glasses).
• Democrats extort us to pay higher taxes to help those less fortunate but never lead by example by volunteering to pay more than the minimum. You really want to force me to do something you are not willing to do, yourself?
  
• When in power, Republicans tried to out Democrat the Democrats only to just now decide that we need to spend less and fight the growth and intrusion of government. Seems like principles are a matter of convenience. And after driving this car straight for a cliff, they have decided they would rather ride in the back seat.
  

I suppose if the old saying is true that "we get the government we deserve" then we must really hate ourselves. I just figured we'd learned our lessons by now. God knows we've had plenty of teachers.

As Far as Idle Hands Go, These Guys are Total Tools

I'm a victim. An innocent bystander drawn into the stupiding of our children (I like to make up words...it's called thinking outside the box). One day while innocently researching for an upcoming blog on internet porn (don't ask how porn and education mix, but apparently it does), I came across this mildly interesting game link that tests one's knowledge of middle eastern geography:
http://www.rethinkingschools.org/just_fun/games/mapgame.html When your done no score is given. They just tell you "Complete!" Well, I thought this was odd. "What the hell?", I said. "What's my friggin' score? What kind of game is this that they don't tell me if I won or not?" (to me, winning is getting 80% correct, I mulligan the other 20%).

Then I read the root url "rethinkingschools.org". "Uh oh, this can't be good." My righty senses were going off the charts crazy. Against my better judgement I pushed through my hesitation and went to the home page. "Holy shit!" If ever there was proof of hate-america assholes pushing to indoctrinate students and teachers, it is this site. Designed as a teacher's aid in developing classroom curriculum, this site's focus is on what a horrible place America is. So, as a teacher, are you struggling to figure out how best to educate middle schoolers...that's right, MIDDLE SCHOOLERS...about the war on terrorism? Click this link. Want to develop a lesson plan around this topic? Here's some ideas. What education would be complete without knowing "Drawing on History to Challenge the War", "Whose Terrorism?", "Defeating Despair", or my personal favorite "Songs for Global Conscience".

Let's not overlook the fact that the game that lured me to the site in the first place has no risk/reward. It simply tells you when your done. There is no feedback nor consequence to an answer being wrong. I had no idea what the names of some of the countries were. I simply dragged the name over the land area until it stuck. And now I still don't know where they are. Granted, my feelings weren't hurt (as I'm sure was the intent) but I came away with no sense of accomplishment, no sense of achievement. It was all very forgettable. In short I didn't care.

This is their model for teaching kids geography, history, and current events. Remove the risk and the reward is meaningless. Apathy takes root and the world gets a little more emo.

So, yeah. Obama had it right. When I read crap like this and think that it has even a chance to see the light of day in just a fraction of my tax funded classrooms, you're damn straight that I will cling to my guns and bible (there's not much more we can or need to count on) in my left hand while flipping everybody the bird with my right.

Generation Y: Shit or Get Off the Pot

We are about to be saved in 2009.

For a few years I, like many of my generation and the generation before me, have become increasingly alarmed by this latest batch of young whipper snappers that have hit the employment market in the last four to six years. For a number of reasons, they’ve been given many monikers, (Generation Y, the Millennials, Generation Me). Common characteristics include: overall laziness, lack of reliability, an entitled view on life, the desire for instant gratification, lack of initiative and problem solving skills, and an uncanny ability to live in that “gray zone” of ambiguous loopholes and frequent malicious obedience. Sure, there are exceptions to every rule. But these exceptions have had the benefit, yes benefit, of hardship and sacrifice.

For the past 20 years, life in the West has been “hardship free”. Everything has been at this generation’s fingertips, and what is not can be purchased for them (well, that’s what they expect anyway). Our kids brains have become obese, their minds mired in sloth. This has become the veal calf generation. So mentally soft and delicate that when economic times were booming you didn’t dare utter a negative critique of their performance or else risk of them taking their ball to go play for another team (oh, don’t get me started about loyalty). Among the dozens of examples of this “how dare you” mentality, in one instance, I actually got chastised by an employee for trying to instill some independent thought and reason. Instead of just giving her the answer to her ridiculously stupid question (yes, there really are stupid questions that, instead of answering, deserve to be mocked), I suggested that she take 30 minutes to research the answer to her question for herself and report back to me what she learned. Well, this went over like a fart in church and let’s just say that I heard an earful at the next staff review. Each day I have been faced with this complete lack of self reliance and each day I must feed the baby birds. Hmmm, maybe I’ll set up a feature called “Tales of the Tards” to weekly showcase a new storied example of my unending torment. I swear that there is a permanent wet spot in the corner of my office due to daily weeping as I am reduced to a curled up mass, rocking myself back and forth sucking on my thumb. Let’s face it, our children’s hands have been idle for a generation, and you know what that means. Shit, I just realized that I’ve been referring to these adults as “children”.

But I am not a pessimist! No, despite my incoherent ramblings and fist shaking, I have hope. Not Obamahope, I’m talking about real hope. The kind of hope bred from good ol’ fashioned soupline standing, shoe soul eating, wooden barrel (with straps) wearing, brother can you spare a dime, economic hardship. I believe that humanity, no matter what the generation, will always rise and stare down hardship. As 2009 takes shape, we are faced with a world and life that has real and profound limitations. In all adversity there is a chance for a better day. In all constraints, there is opportunity for growth. This is a chance for the veal calf generation to redefine itself, instead of others defining it by their own terms. This is their day to stand out and to put to good use the massive resources made available by previous generations. This is their opportunity to seize on the opportunity presented by the retirement of the baby-boomer generation. Us Gen X’ers can’t do it alone. We need these diaper wearers. Maybe now we can stop wiping their tooshies.

And what if this generation squanders its opportunity…fumbles the ball…becomes a lost generation? Well, behind this generation is the next. A generation raised in difficult economic times. A generation that saw its parents struggle to make ends meet and value the few thing they do have: namely each other. A generation that understands the value of hard work and appreciates the sacrifice required in life. A generation we can count on when we most need them. Maybe this “next greatest generation” is our hope, and Generation Y should just get out of the way.

Epilogue: As I proof this, I realize a critical flaw in my logic…can you imagine the pressure placed on all of us if Generation Y does not “grow” out of its artificial adolescence? The level of government programs and spending to keep afloat an economy and population that cannot support itself? The answer is clear…cannibalism. We need to eat The Soylent Generation.